Panto, porn stars & parties: Christmas in Gay London 2014

Here’s our run through of parties, pantos and events in the run up to Christmas Day – and there really are some great events this year.

For the readers outside the UK planning to visit London, do not be surprised to find the capital relatively quiet over the Christmas period itself as a lot of residents tend to leave the city to return home for Christmas, returning for New Year celebrations.

Almost all bars and clubs are closed on Christmas Day. Many are also closed on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. However, New Year will of course be extremely busy.

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Pre-December events

We suspect there’s going to be a lot of shuffling between venues in South London on Friday 28 November. Popstarz bids farewell to London at The Coronet Theatre (28 New Kent Road, SE1 6TJ). Push The Button celebrates its 4th birthday at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern (372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY) on the same night. And if that wasn’t enough Mutya Buena performs at The Two Brewers (114 Clapham High Street, SW4 7JU).

In what could be one of the best events of the year, New York’s Paradise Garage comes to the Ministry Of Sound (103 Gaunt Street, SE1 6DP)
on Sunday 30 November to raise funds for GMHC New York and and the Terrence Higgin’s Trust.

God’s Own Junkyard returns to Soho – until mid-January

We were saddened to learn of the passing of Chris Bracey, the creator of “God’s Own Junkyward” a few weeks ago.

On a more positive note, God’s Own Junkyward returns to Soho after a two year break with another “pop up” at Lights of Soho (35 Brewer Street, W1F 0RX) until Sunday 18 January 2015.

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern Christmas Pantomine – Jack! Sissy that Stalk!

The RVT Christmas Panto returns for its eighth year with Jack! Sissy That Stalk!

The RVT implores you to cheer hero/wannabe YouTube sensation Jack Trotts in his quest for riches and fame, boo the villainous Count Fleshcreep in his efforts to fleece the penniless Dame Trotts and marvel at the magic of Mother Nature with the besotted Jill.

The RVT continues: Will Jack ever be the man Jill wants him to be? Will Daisy ‘the cow’ ever produce milk? And as for that Giant terrorising the village of Vaux-On-The-Hall, is he… you know… all in proportion… like, EVERYWHERE?

The preview is on Wednesday 12 November with the full run from Wednesday 3 December to Thursday 8 January 2015. Tickets on sale now.

Above The Stag Theatre Pantomine: Treasure Island – The Curse Of The Pearl Necklace

Written by Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper and directed by Andrew Beckett, the Above The Stag’s Pantomine (17 Miles Street, Vauxhall, SW8 1RZ) runs from Thursday 28 November to Saturday 10 January 2015.

Here’s the lowdown: Jim Hawkins wants adventure! Tired of swallowing seamen’s stories in his mum’s hotel on the Cornish coast, he gets his hands on a sailor’s chest and discovers a mysterious treasure map. Will he find riches? Sunshine? Speedo-clad men in the sand-dunes? Only if he can beat John Silver, a charismatic and curiously disabled pirate – and a very nautical boy.

Tickets are on sale now.

The Familyyy Fierce present Sleeping Beautyyy – The Black Cap – 15 – 18 December

Directed by Holestar and starring The Familyyy Fierce.

They say: Come and experience the Familyyy in all their glory as they take on the finest of festive traditions. Adding their uniquely queer, weird, wild and fabulous stamp to the camp fairy tale classic.

Gagging Gags Galore! Big Beautiful Burlesque! Scandalous Show Stopping Spectacle! Original Outrageous Opulence

Tickets from £7 are on sale now.

We Party’s 4th Anniversary – “Sex Shop” The Coronet – Saturday 6 December

We Party celebrates its 4th anniversary at The Coronet on Saturday 6 December. With “Sex Shop” as the theme, at the very least the staging should be quite a sight. The “Bordello” 2nd room will be playing host to “whore house” with special guest porn star Lucio Saints.

East 17’s Tony Mortimer at Songs Of Praise – East Bloc – Saturday 6 December

Tony Mortimer of East 17 joins Songs Of Praise for “A Very 90s Xmas” at East Block. More on Facebook.

Pam Ann – Plane Naughty Christmas Special – The Two Brewers – Sunday 7 December

After a successful European tour, Pam Ann returns to The Two Brewers for another show. Tickets can be bought in person at the venue or by phone 020 7819 9539.

LGBT Fairy Grotto takeover of Spiegeltent at Winterval Victoria Park – Sundays throughout December

The team behind Summer Rites are running a LGBT takeover of the Spiegeltent at Winterville Victoria Park.

The running order is Gay Bingo (Sunday 7 December), Horse Meat Disco (Sunday 14 December), Sink The Pink (Sunday 21 December) and Supreme Fabulette and Tranny Shack (Sunday 28 December). More information including ticketing is on Facebook.

Sink The Pink Winter Ball with Sophie Ellis Bextor – Troxy – Saturday 13 December

Sink The Pink hosts its Winter Ball at Troxy (490 Commercial Rd, E1 0HX) on Saturday 13 December. Sophie Ellis Bextor is the headliner. Bright Light Bright Light is also performing. STP also promise your chance to be crowned Queen of the Ball. Camp as Christmas or Fire and Ice. The choice is yours.

We Love Pop Ho Ho Ho’s Of Pop Christmas Special – Concrete – Saturday 13 December

WELOVEPOP Club presents its “HO, HO, HOs of POP XMAS SPECIAL” at Concrete (Lower Ground Floor, 56 Shoreditch High Street, E1 6JJ). From Dirrty Christina to babyfaced Bad Boy Bieber, Mikey Cyrus and Fascination DJs will be spinning all the greatest hits and Christmas classics from the naughtiest and nicest girls and boys of pop. More on Facebook. Tickets are on sale now.

Anthem’s Old Skool Reunion – The Royal Vauxhall Tavern – Friday 19 December

“Anthem” returns to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Friday 19 December for a special Christmas party promising old school dance from the 1990s and beyond. More online.

The winner of X Factor 2014 – G-A-Y at Heaven – Saturday 20 December

The winner of X Factor 2014 Ben Haenow will be performing live on stage at G-A-Y at Heaven on Saturday 20 December.

Carpet Burn’s Awesome Office Christmas Party – The Eagle – Saturday 20 December

Eagle favourite Carpet Burn hosts its own office party at The Eagle. Entry is free before 11pm. Starring Russella with support from DJs Lee Thomas, Wes Baggaley and Dave Cross.

XXL Christmas – Pulse – Saturday 20 December

If all you want for Christmas this year is the appearance of a big hairy bearded man with a large sack, then you could well find it on the dancefloor of weekly fixture XXL. As to its contents, well… The Saturday 20 December event marks XXL’s Christmas celebration.

Village Drinks Christmas Drinks – The Mandarin Oriental – Monday 22 December

Village Drinks hosts its Christmas drinks in the elegant surroundings of the Mandarin Oriental hotel, Hyde Park (66 Knightsbridge, SW1X 7LA). Tickets are now on sale.

Elsewhere in London

Of London’s many winter ice rinks, Somerset House is our firm favourite. The club nights are our preferred choice for not only the soundtrack to your skating, but a more mature crowd and Somerset House providing a terrific backdrop for skating at night.

And this year Vauxhall has its own ice rink at the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens. Though we’d advise that’s probably not best combined with a club night…

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